This is an opinion column by Niagara Health Communications Specialist Michelle Pressé, originally published in the St. Catharines Standard, Niagara Falls Review and Welland Tribune.
Jenn and Joe Marinelli know all too well the worry and fear parents feel when their newborn baby is admitted to the neonatal intensive care unit.
On April 19, 2021, their son, Theo, was born six weeks early and spent the first 30 days of his life in the NICU.
The experience inspired Jenn — a talented artist and creator from Port Colborne — to give back to other families in the NICU at the Marotta Family Hospital in St. Catharines. Alongside Joe and Theo, she recently donated a large basket of octopus stuffies she crocheted for babies still preparing for their NICU graduation. Octopus-shaped toys are comforting for babies, as the tentacles mimic the umbilical cord in the womb. On top of being cute cuddly toys, they may also reduce the risk of babies pulling on their tubes in the NICU.
The octopus toys Jenn Marinelli crocheted were complete with attached messages of hope and solidarity to fellow NICU parents.
Jenn attached a message of hope and solidarity to each parent getting an octopus for their baby.
“I remember that time and it feeling so isolating,” she said. “It felt like our whole world stopped. We’re three years out and it can still feel like just yesterday. Having a child in the NICU is the hardest thing I’ve ever experienced.”
Jenn isn’t a stranger to tough experiences.
Theo Marinelli is all smiles beside the basket of toys his mom crocheted as a recent donation to Niagara Health’s NICU. Theo was born at 34 weeks and spent the first 30 days of his life in the NICU.
It could be argued that Theo’s birth story was cemented in February 2021. The COVID-19 pandemic was still raging, and Jenn, who was 28 years old and 26 weeks pregnant, was diagnosed with cervical cancer. Just one week later, she started chemotherapy at the Juravinski Cancer Centre and was referred to a high-risk obstetrician-gynecologist at McMaster Children’s Hospital. It would be here that she would deliver her son at 34 weeks via caesarean section in order to continue more intensive cancer treatments.
When Theo was born, Jenn’s nurses held him up to her face so she could give him a kiss before she endured a second surgery immediately following the C-section. It would be another 30 hours after delivery until she would be able to hold her son for the first time, and another 30 days until the Marinellis could be united as a family of three because of COVID-19 restrictions.
While the family was granted one week together at the same time following a particularly difficult round of chemo for Jenn, the parents had to mostly split their time with Theo in the NICU.
At five days old, Theo graduated from McMaster’s NICU and was stable enough to be transported to the St. Catharines NICU. The couple says a glimmer of light in this time of darkness were the nurses who cared for Theo.
“The best nurses understood how hard it was for me to not be there with him 24-7 because of my treatments,” said Jenn. “They took extra time to snuggle him, tell him stories, celebrate all of his wins. They decorated his room and made it feel less like a hospital setting.”
Theo Marinelli and Alyssa Addabbo, one of his former nurses at Niagara Health’s NICU, share a special bond that outlasted Theo’s time in the NICU.
Jenn and Joe said one of Theo’s nurses at the St. Catharines NICU, Alyssa Addabbo, made a particularly big impact.
“It was a lot to navigate — post-partum hormones by themselves are no joke, but then you add all these additional layers,” said Jenn. “Alyssa says she loved the night shifts because she’d get extra time to snuggle Theo. It was always obvious how much she loves what she does and loves the babies.”
Addabbo said that while working in the NICU can be emotionally stressful at times, the rewards far outweigh the challenges.
“A baby being born premature or with health issues can be very difficult, but babies are so strong and resilient,” she said. “It’s so special to be present for a baby’s first breath and start to life; to watch families bond with their little one and to see them eventually graduate from the NICU.”
Her bond with the Marinellis is one that outlasted Theo’s time in the NICU. They see each other on occasion, and Addabbo said she’s grateful to Jenn and Joe for allowing her to continue to be part of Theo’s life.
“As a nurse, you build relationships with families and their babies as you help them through many tough days but also many great days,” she said. “It is so special knowing that I took care of Theo as a newborn and three years later, he has grown into an amazing little boy.”
In addition to caring for babies in the NICU, Addabbo also feels a responsibility to support parents.
“I want every NICU family to know that, if they need to, they can go home for a day or night and trust that their baby is taken care of. It’s not always possible to be at their bedside, and that’s OK.”
Theo continues to be his parents’ “bright light,” spreading joy, kindness and curiosity everywhere he goes.
“There are so many components of Theo’s birth that I missed out on,” Jenn said. “I wanted to see Joe hold him for the first time. I wanted to be able to go home hours after birth. It’s upsetting that none of these things happened. But when I think about the part that truly matters, it’s Theo. I have my beautiful son. I’ve been able to watch my husband become a father. There is nothing more important than that.”
